Skin Dismorphia?

by amodelsroaccutanejourney

It has been a long time since I have written a post and to be honest that is sort of because I have been trying to forget that I ever had acne.

Firstly I must update you on my skin.
I have not got any cystic spots at all anymore and haven’t since my last ever Roaccutane tablet. If I have a big weekend of champagne and little sleep…I do get a couple of zits. When I say zits, they are like those little teenage hormonal spots that disappear in a couple of days.

I just wanted to let you know a little story of my casting today.
I had a request casting for a well known skincare brand. For the first time ever my agent said they needed to find models with skincare problems.
I went to this casting with a full face of make…as always.
As soon as I got there I was asked to take off my make up. I don’t think I have ever in my life been to a casting with no make up. It was so scary to be on show in that way. It literally felt like I was sitting there naked whilst chatting to the clients and the photographer.
Once we had chatted the photographer took my photo and very kindly said that my skin looked perfect in the camera. With absolute disbelief that she was talking about me I took a look and sure enough she was right, although my acne scarred brain immediately though, “nah, the camera is out of focus”. After such a long time with acne I have lost so much confidence. If anyone ever compliments my skin I simply smile, say thank you and think they are lying!
As I have told you all before that when I exercise or get hot my acne scaring comes up in the form of red dots. So I went and splashed a load of warm water on my skin and out popped the red dots. For some astonishing reason these dots still didn’t show up on the camera.
I’m not sure if the camera was the most magical lens or I have some sort of mental skin dismorphia haha.
I have come away feeling a bittersweet happiness. I’m thrilled that such an incredible photographer and client could compliment me on my skin which has been the name of my life for years or incredibly disappointed that I have clearly not got such an incredible campaign :

How is everyone else’s progress coming along? Have any of you been experiencing scars now that you have finished Roaccutane?

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